Life as I Knew it Ended June 25, 2009

As anyone who loves Michael over-flowingly will tell you it is extremely difficult to talk to people in our immediate circle about our love for Michael. I compare trying to have this conversation with a listener who is in one atmosphere, and I am in another stratosphere. Listeners are often lost by the second or third sentence and I feel dismissed by the listener as being "way too philosophical for their taste." It's as if the listener waves a dismissive hand in the air and bolts for the door commenting over their shoulder "You just need to toughen up and stop being so sensitive." You already know what I have to say to that. I am an empath and I have known this all my life. I am an extremely sensitive person. My kindness has been mistaken for weakness. I am always asking "Why? What people don't know is that it takes a very strong person to take care of their own needs, and look out for the needs of others. This is why I relate to Michael in every way.

I trust Michael 1 zillion percent because I know him completely even though we never met or spoke. I am honored to feel Michael's love. I think of Michael's famous lyric, "I'm so proud to say I love you" when I think about how to tell the world how much I love Michael. This love from Michael is all encompassing and it could be perceived as arrogance, great pride, if left unchecked by the reminder that Michael would want us to be humble and gracious accepting his love. Yet Michael did everything bigger and better than anyone. His very existence was the biggest, so I'm doubtful that anyone could love Michael in a small way. It's not possible. I am a walking billboard for Michael. I am a "Michael-a-Holic "and I don't want to be cured, just heard. My time is spent doing what I term "Michaelology." It's the study of Michael. I am a "Michaelette. " A devoted cheer-leader of Michael's shining legacy of love.

I wish I could have known Michael personally because I think we could have talked for eternity about our deep regard for the earth and it's inhabitants. I simply have to accept that God did not lead me down that path to meet Michael on earth for whatever reason I do not know.

I have come to realize that I do have a relationship with Michael that will far outlast any physical relationship on earth and I am no longer jealous of those who stood in Michael's enchanted presence. Being a reasonable person I know it was not physically possible for every single person who loves Michael to meet him. I believe I could have been a great friend to Michael, better than some, and we all know who they are. Those who harmed or neglected Michael will never get the redemption from me that they seek.

I believe Michael has appointed those of us who love him over-flowingly to continue his work. How else can we explain people around the world becoming friends who would never otherwise speak or meet supporting one another and continuing Michael's work. Michael did so much for the world and he was only one man. It will take the work of millions of people to carry on what Michael did alone. A greater force is at work here. This is what I understand.

What I don't understand is why everyone doesn't accept Michael's love? My own twin sister seems oblivious to it. How can that be? I conclude the haters in this world choose to reject Michael's love and they continue the battle between good versus evil that has existed since biblical times. It is true that no amount of factual information helps a hater's mindset. They are not seeking information. They ignore the truth and all concepts of reason. Therefore you, the voice of reason , educating them, doesn't work. They are gripped very tightly by evil thoughts projected onto Michael and transferred to all who love Michael by association. Haters have tried to invade tribute websites.

I believe they try to project their self hatred onto Michael's image and they are jealous because Michael is loved and they are not. Often the men who write these slanted and ultra mean comments are not physically attractive men to begin with and they have no redeeming personal character traits or qualities to compensate for their lack of beauty. So, they are correct, their self-loathing is justified in their own mind and their slander becomes a self-fufilling prophecy and women do perceive them as ugly and their behavior confirms it.

I know we must love stronger than any hater. This love will conquer them. There are people in life who don't know what love is. They think they have just a little ration of love in them and they hold onto it waiting for the right person , at the right time, to give it to and they better get it right because they only get one chance. For many of them that day never comes because they have ignored every opportunity. These people go through their entire life never giving any love away. What they don't realize, and what Michael knew, is that the more love you give away, the more love is replenished. These people are the hardest to love.

At times I struggle and I feel great resentment because I feel left behind here on earth to live life without Michael here on earth, and have to fight the haters on top of it. Sometimes it feels overwhelming and too much to bear. Then, just when I need it most, Michael intervenes in some way. God intervenes. I will hear one of Michael's phrases, or a verse in a song, or I see something somewhere that reminds me of Michael. I feel encouraged.

"To conceal ignorance is to increase it."
Mahatma Gandhi

I feel that I am not being loyal to Michael if I remain silent to a hater's comment yet I am sure that Michael's legacy is carved deeply into history and it will withstand the test of time. There is no need to dignify a hater's comment that comes from the waste of cells that make up the person. My fierce loyalty to Michael and the truth cannot be put aside. Michael's words echo in me, "Just be yourself." Therefore I feel compelled to act. We who know Michael and who defend Michael will never allow evil to creep into our hearts. Hatred breeds hatred. Yet silence is acceptance. There is a line that we walk fiercely defending Michael, a human masterpiece, a gift from God and the thought that Michael needs defending is incredulous to me. This must be what the apostles felt like when Jesus left the earth.

Everyone knows the name Jesus. Do they know the names of the soldiers who crucified him? NO. I believe the mistreatment of Michael is the mistreatment of me. I don't have to be accepted by everyone in the world and I don't want wish to completely convert everyone in the world to Michael although I believe conversions are entirely possible through exposure to love.

I cannot adequately describe my love for Michael. Michael would be the one to invent the right word for what I feel because it does not exist in human vocabulary. I will spend every moment of every day honoring Michael and thanking him for loving me until I bring my love to him in heaven one day. I am so honored to accept Michael's love and share it I'm here to tell the world. Won't you join me?